Quitting Smoking...day 2

Today is my second day of quitting smoking. I've quit smoking before, MANY times. This time is different though. I'm not quitting because I WANT to, I'm quitting because I've been sick for like 4 weeks with a shitty cough so basically I HAVE to quit.

I think the fact that I have to, makes this soooo much harder. I really just want to eat a ton of chips or punch someone. But the chips will just contribute to my fat ass problem and the only people around to punch are under 4 ft tall and since there's laws against abusing children, I'm just gonna sit here and fiend like a lab monkey. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Some People Are Misinformed

So this morning I was on Facebook and was treated to a rant by some dude that girls who have a lot of guy friends, but not a lot of girlfriends are ALL sluts (well 9 out of every 10). His basis for this completely insane/asinine theory was that guys want to hang out with this type of girl because she's easy and all they want to do is sleep with her and girls dont want to hang out with her because they can "sniff" out this type of behavior and nobody likes a slut.

Now, I don't want to call this guy an idiot, but by making this type of generalized statement he clearly gives me no choice. That would be like me saying that all guys that have a Texas flag for their profile picture on Facebook have tiny little penises. Sure, it could be true, but without having actually seen all of their peens I would be an ass for making such an assumption.

I happen to know several women who have more guy friends than girl friends and not one of them is a slut. They are smart, independent women who don't give a fuck what you think about them. One of them happens to be my kid. She busted her ass and graduated high school at 16, moved out on her own and went to college. She's had as many as 5 jobs at one time. She's currently 20 and a senior in college and works as a manager for a men's wheelchair basketball team. She has a huge heart and makes me proud of her accomplishments everyday. She has ONE boyfriend on the basketball team and not a bunch of guys she's out sleeping with. But this ass who made this statement will never know how awesome she is because she has mostly guy friends so automatically he would assume she's trash.

She's not, she's smart because being a woman, I can tell you that "bitches be crazy". A lot of women are giant balls of drama and the smart woman will avoid them. This is one of the reasons I maintain such a small group of girl friends as well. So next time, sir with the Texas flag profile pic, think shit out before you spew it on Facebook. It makes you look like an uniformed ass to the rest of the world.

Why I Hate Assholes

There are two types of people in this world, regular people and assholes. That's it. Under the "asshole" category there are two subcategories 1) assholes that are so miserable they have to make everyone else around them miserable and 2) assholes that just seem to be sickos who ENJOY being assholes! What I hate most about both of these categories of idiots is that you can't escape them. They are EVERYWHERE!!No matter where you turn, there will be an asshole close by. Its an epidemic I tell you!

Instead of throwing money down the drain on trying to figure out why fat kids get made fun of (this is a legitimate study by the way. They could've just paid me to tell them that fat kids get made fun of because grown up assholes were once kids and even then they were assholes. Duh!), how about we figure out what makes assholes tick? Because without them running around, everybody's life would be great!!

Just imagine a world without an asshole boss who's always bitching about this and that or an asshole ex that's a constant pain in the ass. Oh, what about not having asshole drivers pissing you off every single time you get behind the wheel?? Wouldn't it be great to drive around town not yelling like a maniac at every asshole who cuts you off or drives 20 MPH under the speed limit? Hell yeah it would!!!! I'm talking about creating a Utopia here people, so lets all get behind this.

(of the people that read this, not one of you fuckers could comment that I misspelled "category" and every variation of it, a dozen times? Seriously? WTF people?)