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Tuesday, November 6, 2012

The One True Way to Happiness

Usually I spend my time bitching and complaining on here and usually it's because I have a good reason so just deal with it, but not today! Today I'm giving you a special surprise.... I'm going to tell you how to change your life with just two little words.

"What? That's just fucking crazy!", you say, but I assure you it's not. Now I'm talking about your inner self. It won't make you rich, or attractive or hell even likeable, but it will make you feel better.

First off, everybody has different experiences in their life that shapes them into the person they are, but some people don't take those incidents and use them as valuable learning tools. They hold on to them and carry them around waving them at everyone so that the world knows that they were somehow wronged. People need to realize that shit happens and it happens to everyone. You are not special. Husband cheated? So have umpteen other men AND women for that matter, people have a hard time staying faithful for some reason. Grew up with an abusive parent? Join my club. Bullied in school? Millions of kids were because other kids are dicks and don't understand that being a dick isn't cool. The point is, you are not alone.

Millions of dollars a year are spent on self-help books, therapy and medication because people can't let shit go. If you want to save yourself a few pretty pennies then stop falling for all of that shit then and learn one simple phrase...

fuck it.

That's it. It's that simple. Spouse cheats..fuck it. Just leave. Why stay with someone that has so little respect for you they would hurt you that way? Boss is an asshole...fuck it. Chances are he hates his job just as much as you hates yours and while you may not realize it, there's a bigger asshole than him breathing down his neck. The absolute greatest thing about life is, you don't have to let these things break you. You have choices. Change your situation if you're so miserable you hate every single day of life or adjust your thinking so that you can just deal with it. It's all about perspective.  You choose the way you feel. Nobody can make you feel anything, you are in charge of your emotions. I'm not saying I'm perfect. I get pissed off. Frequently. I just don't let it ruin my whole day.

Time to cleanse our palette with this pretty unicorn...

Everything that happens to you is an experience. Look at it for what it is and learn something from it whether it shows you what type of people to keep out of your life or makes you more compassionate or stronger or whatever. Just take something positive away  and then let that shit go. Don't let it turn you into a bitter bitch or a big stupid asshead. 

Also, all of that "power of positive thinking" is a load of shit too. Just sitting around dreaming about a new house, a hot wife and blah blah blah isn't going to get those things for you. You have to get off of your ass and go work for them. That's right, I said WORK FOR THEM. Shit doesn't magically appear on your doorstep. Plus there's a more important law than Law of Attraction, it's called the Law of fucking Reality. Deal with it. If for some reason you feel that you just HAVE to give your money to someone to help you get your shit in order, feel free to pay me. I will be more than happy to be your "life coach".

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