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Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Family...a Bigger Pain in the Ass Than Hemorrhoids

As this holiday progresses, I have found more and more reasons to despise the holiday season, which I will be referring to as 'Shitmas' from here on out!

Today's complaint is family. During the year most families will have their pain in the ass moments, it's unavoidable since they are made up of people and as a general rule people will disagree. For some reason, this time of year brings out the worst in family members.

All of this could be avoided if people put Shitmas in a proper perspective.
Most people put too much weight in holidays. All of them. And they tend to get shitty when people go against their holiday plans. So here's a newsflash for all of you bossy fuckers that fall into that category....

First of all, if you have kids, one day those kids are going to grow up and get married and have their own kids (unless of course, they are smart. Then they will remain childless and single.). Once that happens they are going to want to start making their own family traditions, like spending Shitmas Eve at home with their kids. Why does this have to cause a war?

I'll tell you why...because some people are inconsiderate.

When you make a family, the holidays get very busy. You have to find time to spend with your family AND your spouses family. So if your kids want to do your family get together on a day that's not Shitmas Eve, who gives a fuck?? They are not 5 years old and are not obligated to be with you on that day. So before you get your britches all in a wad, stop and realize that expecting anything more makes you a selfish son of a bitch. And taking to your Facebook to whine and complain like a spoiled little brat makes you an asshole.

You should be thankful that they want to spend anytime at all with you since you have 364 other days out of the year that you don't bother trying to be a part of their lives. Just because one day is holiday doesn't mean they should have to rearrange their lives to appease your ridiculous notions.

So no matter what holiday comes around remember one thing, people have lives. Those lives involve a lot of people not just you. Make time to spend with each other when it's convenient for EVERYONE involved and don't try and guilt trip people into times that aren't feasible for them because doing so will only make you a holiday asswipe.

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